Cheney calls war critics 'opportunists' --News Item
Wish I made a fraction of what the war pimps make. You know the ones--Krauthammer,
Coulter, Boot, Safire, Limbaugh, Will, O'Reilly, Hannity, Ledeen - those media
guys doing the well-paid work of Dick Cheney and doing it well...while earning
big paychecks along with Dick and his gang.
Wish I made a fraction of the fine income those propagandists made. You know
the ones, those media folks on Op-Ed pages and TV news programs everywhere,
who never fought a single battle but make a plush living pimping for war. Wish
I could do that and not see the devil smirking at me in the mirror.
Wish I made a pittance of what those well-connected contractors in Iraq make,
and continue to make. You know the ones: The Bush/Cheney 'No-bid' contractors
like Halliburton, Exxon-Mobil, and the Carlyle Group. Good old boys, lifelong
pals of Dick Cheney, a guy who called war critics like me "opportunists."
Yeah, I wish I, too, made a dime for every dollar stolen from the taxpayer.
Wish I could sleep nights, like the Neocons, knowing a whole bunch of people
in Iraq got their country stolen, while a bunch more Americans in uniform were
serving as jailers overseas.
Wish I could amass billions for my friends, as Dick has done, while thousands
of dirt poor Americans in uniform did the dirty work of guarding millions of
folks even poorer than them. What a great job that would be - if only I could
sleep at night.
Wish I owned the news media, the handful of big publishers and TV networks and
those thousands of radio stations from sea to shining sea. Wouldn't that be
grand! Whenever someone dared criticize me, I'd simply get all my guard dogs
in the media to write their columns and immediately fill TV and talk radio airwaves
to shout my critics down. I'd sic Hannity and Savage on 'em! I'd get Malkin
and Coulter to question their manhood.
Wish I had the opportunity of an Ivy League education. I'd use that opportunity
to befriend guys exactly like me. We'd plot ways to take power, and not waste
our time on useless information or education or knowledge. Because, when you
think about it, Power Is Knowledge. Power educates. Power informs.
And the Opportunity to amass that power is reserved for people like me, if I
were Dick Cheney that is, with all my Ivy League and Pentagon and corporate
Wish I, too, had all the bureaucracies at my beck and call. FBI, CIA, Pentagon,
NORAD, NTSB, NYPD - all the acronyms of a powerful state government. I'd plot
my plots; I'd plan my plans. I'd make all the acronyms do my bidding, for me
and my well-connected friends.
Wish I controlled the weather. I'd spray the whole country from five miles up.
Why? Because I could. But I wouldn't tell anyone. Why should they know? I'd
own the skies. Because once you own the skies you own whatever is under it.
Wish I lived forever. I'd extend my power over the whole world, without apology,
for me and my cronies. We would reshape the world in MY image of what the world
Wish I made a sweet deal with the devil. What an opportunity for me. The only
reason I couldn't...is because I'm not Dick Cheney.
Douglas Herman, "opportunist," essayist and
war critic, earned approximately $1,000 last year opportunistically opposing
the war. He also authored the opportunistic new novel, The Guns