If indeed the accusation is correct, Steven Chand should be escorted to a rubber room, as he is seriously out of touch with reality. How exactly Chand and his band of would-be jihadists, including five minors, would get anywhere near Ottawa’s Parliament Hill with a truck—and it would need be a big truck—packed with three tons of suspicious ammonium nitrate is not explained, or is the patently absurd idea Chand and crew would be able to abduct and behead the PM of Canada.

Canada’s “homegrown” terrorists, if the accusations are correct, are of the same mental caliber as Richard “shoe bomber” Reid and Zacarias Moussaoui, the raving lunatic supposedly rejected by “al-Qaeda” because, according to Ramzi Binalshibh, he was a grandstander.

Moreover, if we are to believe media reports, the suspects snatched in the Forest Gate, London, raid are retards. “An Internet trail left by a British computer expert has led investigators to an intricate terror network spreading from the backstreets of Baghdad through cells of young militants living in European capitals to Islamic extremists plotting car-bomb attacks in North America,” explains the Times Online. “For nine months police and intelligence agents in eight countries have patiently worked through a forest of e-mails and intercepted telephone calls that have so far led to the arrest of up to 30 men…. Most of these suspects have never met. They had no need. They were recruited, groomed by skilled propagandists and schooled in bombmaking via the internet.”

Obviously, this British computer expert is about as adept at computers and the internet as Hani Saleh Hanjour was at piloting a single-engine Cessna 172 (he was terrible, and yet, according to the government’s fairy tale, was able to navigate these cockpit controls and crash United flight 77 into the Pentagon). Even people who are not especially internet-savvy realize one leaves behind an electronic trail every time he or she dials up or logs into the internet, and yet this “computer expert” did not seem to be aware of this, or maybe he was sending out a cry for help and secretly wanted to get busted.

But then, of course, the whole point of Operation Mazhar, launched by Scotland Yard and MI5, was to demonize the internet and portray it as a cesspool inhabited by “al-Qaeda” terrorists clutching bomb blueprints, thus an out of control medium in need of regulation, or at least a large dose of monitoring.

As usual, we are expected to ignore the inconsistencies and irrationality of the details and focus instead on scary Freddy Kruger Muslims, running around in the woods, sporting camo, plotting to abduct prime ministers and chop off their heads in Abu Musab al-Zarqawi fashion.

Never mind the bunch in Canada are in need of ziprasidone, a medication prescribed for schizophrenia.